I thought about it. 'No, don't think I'll do it.' I thought about it some more. 'Ok, I'll give it a go.' Then I thought about it again. 'No, no. I'm not.' And so the story goes on. One week before the deadline, I email Atkins and ask if it's too late to get prints done. It's not - as long as I have them submitted that day. Argh! The Mad rush to finalise the selection of prints, tweak said prints and send through.
Over the weekend, judging took place. I was coughing way too much to go but watched via streaming. It's just as scary and nerve-wracking watching from home as it is watching in the audience. I got sweaty palms. I didn't want to watch. I did want to watch. I held my breath. I tried to think positive.
My first print judged, a blue volcano, got Silver. Yay! Now - just continue like this, I beg. My next two prints rate in 'professional practice' - my heart sinks. 'Why can't I get it right?' But the judges make comment, and I realise, what they are saying is right. In my heart, something didn't sit right with these images. I tried hard to make them something more than what they were - pretty pictures.
The last print up was probably the print I was most concerned about. 'Does it tell enough story?' But I entered it anyway, and it got Silver! Yay again.
Of course I wanted more, we always do. But I am happy with what I have got. And more importantly, I have a takeaway from these Awards.
Listen to your heart. Don't close the door to what your heart is saying. Trust yourself. You know what is best.